Healing

There are few things in life that are as valuable as true friends.  I've got a few that are in my small circle of people I can call a true friend and I want to share the healing that is happening to one of them because it is truly amazing to see how much has happened in a short period of time to help heal her.

Debbie and I met through a military wives Facebook group about 3 1/2 years ago.  We became friends very quickly once we discovered that we were the only two women in the group who happened to be members of the same church.  During this time she's opened up to me some about her previous marriage, the divorce and challenges of getting married again all while trying to help her 3 kids from the first marriage adjust to not only military life, but having a step father.  There would be so much bitterness and anger when she'd talk about her ex, but at the same time she seemed so lost.  She didn't have much confidence in herself or feelings of self worth.

Then last week out of the blue her ex called.  When we talked about how she was feeling about all of it, her emotions and feelings were still raw, but something started to happen that I don't think she was aware of at the time.  True healing had begun.  It was the first time in all of the years I've known her that she was upset with him.  She asked me at the time if she should talk about the experiences on her blog and I encouraged her to do just that.  What an amazing thing to see happen.  Anger, bitterness, hurt were gone.  The healing process was beginning.  She got truly vulnerable with herself and her audience about what was going on and how she felt.

I sat back and just felt lucky to be watching this process happen to her.  Suddenly that lack of confidence and self worth were melting away.  She was forgiving him and all that had happened in the past overnight.  Now, I can't say that is an easy process because it isn't.  Going through my own healing years ago took a lot of forgiving those who had hurt me and then forgiving myself.  That is the process that we all go through at one point or another in our lives.  But watching Debbie go through this and knowing that the healing is doing so much more than she can see, oh what joy will she have when she looks back to see how far she's come.

Today she asked me what I thought of a new post for her blog.  This one was just as incredible as her last one.  Full of so much vulnerability and healing.  I told her once, and this is something I truly believe, that forgiving those who hurt us and then forgiving ourselves changes us for the better.  We become better people and the personal growth we go through is something that I feel does something inside to us to give us growth and heal our hearts.  I'm so lucky that I get to essentially be along for the ride as Debbie goes through this healing process and watch her continue to grow and change.  Watching her grow in self confidence is something I've prayed to see happen for a while now, and now it's truly starting to happen.